Those bastards at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration have decided I can’t be a hurricane anymore because I caused too much damage last year. How dare they? And, they’re replacing me with Irma? Irma? Really? My name is so much better than Irma. Bastards!
The name Irene is being retired from the catalog of Atlantic storm names because of the billions of dollars in damage and nearly 50 deaths that resulted from Hurricane Irene last year.
Hurricane Irene came ashore in August, 2011 as a Category 1 storm and was downgraded to a tropical storm as it moved up the East Coast, flooding already swollen rivers, damaging homes, roads and businesses and forcing the evacuation of some two million people.
Nearly 50 people were killed in the Caribbean and in ten US states. Days after the storm, experts said damage wrought by Hurricane Irene for everything from washed-out roads to canceled flights would top $12 billion.
Nearly 50 people were killed. How do “nearly killed” people count? You’re supposed to only count the actual dead people, not the ones that made it. And only 50? Come on. That’s not destructive enough to be forced into retirement.
According to the National Hurricane Center, it is usually Category 5 storm names that are retired “social and economic impacts can also be factored into the decision.”
Oh, so I’m being retired because of political correctness then? Nice. Sometimes I hate this country.